Here be dragons

A blogger is born.
1979.

I am still navigating new, strange territory as my first Father's Day without my dad approaches.

When people say, "you will never be the same," I now know exactly what they mean. This isn't a club I was looking forward to joining. The Dead Parent club. But here we are.

I think I have been doing ok adjusting to life without my North Star. My protector. The guy who knew ALL THE ANSWERS. He raised me to be resilient, that is for sure. And that I have been these past 6 months since he died.

The best I can do is continue to live my life in a way that made him proud. To do what I love, and like he frequently said, "You are livin the dream." There is this thing about life: It goes on. My dad would not want me to be sad all the time, and give up living.

I will never move on from such a loss, but I will GO on. There is a difference, I have learned.

But people are right. I'll never be the same. And that's ok. When I listen to friends complain about their parents, how horrible they are - I find that so sad. There has never been a moment my entire life that I EVER doubted my father's love for me. I know that there are so many who are not that lucky.

Just because a parent or loved one is gone, doesn't mean your relationship with them is over.

I found the below description of grief to really ring true. I couldn't find the original author, but supposedly it was a reply to some Reddit post.

---

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

1980
Seems I liked pony rides.
*FORESHADOWING MUSIC*

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall.Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.

Still came to watch me show even when chemo was beating the life out of him.

___

"Here be dragons" means dangerous or unexplored territories, in imitation of the medieval practice of putting dragons, sea serpents and other mythological creatures in uncharted areas of maps.

Saddlebreds rock Rock Creek

Fine harness class

The Rock Creek horse show is 2 miles from my house, so I stopped by Tuesday evening to watch some of the show.

My former trainer at the head of the horse.

I really admire how the Saddlebred community has found the formula for success for their shows. They draw a good crowd, even on a Tuesday evening, charge people to watch ($10, although I snuck in the back way and pretended I was a groom. Probably looked like one, too), and they have vendors, booze and shopping. Plus you can hoot and holler all you want, making for a fun atmosphere!

Granted, I know that a large reason is because the clientele in Saddlebred land have way more money than they know what to do with, but I think Dressage can perhaps take a lesson or two on how to put on a horse show!

Their "warm up ring" was basically this long, straight strip

Anyway I watched a handful of classes and said hello to my former trainers. As usual they have a lovely string of horses and win a lot.

You can take tools from trainers in other disciplines, which I continue to do. I learned a lot riding with and working for them and being behind the scenes at shows. I know some may not agree with the shoes and training aids that are sometimes used, but the horses are treated well and get top notch care.

William Shatner and his entourage

Hackney pony!

They are beautiful to watch in the show ring. Granted, some dressage would CERTAINLY help some of the riders who can't seem to make their horses straight to save their own life, but then again - they don't care about straightness in this sport. They don't need to. So what if your horse canters sideways down the rail? As long as it's cantering you are pretty good! And who cares if it basically leaps and flails in transitions?!

The only disappointing thing I saw was the Hunter under saddle class for the saddlebreds. I think there were 5 entries and 2 of them were quite lame. The winner was nice, but in order to win this class you would need to shoe your horse (like more than just a normal shoe) and teach it to have a "head set." Which I think is unfortunate, as I don't think the class should be ex-English horses in huntseat tack.

Two hunter entries. 

Equitation rider

The in-gate

Saddlebred shows are a good time though. And I give the lemon shake ups an A+!

Plus where else can you see William Shatner hanging on for dear life behind his harness horse who basically took him for a ride and then WINS the class?

William Shatner awaiting the results

Dressage at Balmoral results

Reserve chamption AA FEI on Saturday!
Plus matching wind-blown frizzy fros!

Horse show 2 is done and done!

And this time went much better!

Hamp and I left early Friday morning and stopped to pick up Liz and Royale on our way up to the Chicago area. The drive was windy, but relatively easy.

When we left Indiana, we were all dripping sweat in 90 degrees and 100000% humidity. Imagine our surprise when we got to the venue, opened the doors and were met with a cool wind and 70 degrees!

After we got settled, Hamp and I went to school with JK, my coach from Indiana. Hamp was fresh at first, but went right to work. The atmosphere was HUGE. The wind was whipping around flags and banners, and the horses were fresh in the cooler weather. We had a good ride and went for a hack around the grounds a bit. It was so neat, almost like showing in Wellington or something!

On the track!

Up by the score boards

Balmoral is a HITS facility and so there were a plethora of show rings in the old infield, hacking paths and plenty to look at. It was a harness racing track until it closed in 2015. Boy it was dripping in history!

---

We were up early Saturday since I had a 9:13 am ride time for the PSG. JK helped me warm him up which I really appreciated. She gives me such confidence to really ride him with authority. He marched right in the show ring and had one of our best PSG tests to date! I did make a few mistakes, but they were mistakes where I knew what happened, and I knew how to fix them. Most importantly Hampton was loose in his back, ridable and totally unflappable in quite the atmosphere!

After our great PSG test Saturday morning

I was thrilled with our score of 62.5% - giving us first place in a class of 5 AAs. Plus a qualifying score for regionals. Still so much room for improvement, but what a fun time!

--

Later in the day I did my freestyle again which went MUCH MUCH better than at the KDA show. Hamp remained ridable, and I really only made one mistake in the 4s which was TOTALLY my fault because my count was off. I still also need to tweak my music some. I got a time penalty for going over time, so I need to mess with the music still. Work in progress! But still, we scored a 63% and some change. Good enough for a regional qualifying score!

Warm up ring

---

Sunday morning we just had a PSG test to go, and I left about 30 minutes to warm up. It was super windy again, but Hamp came right out feeling great. In fact I thought maybe I should just walk a bit and save his energy. But mistakenly, I did a longer warm up and I think I ran him out of gas. Our test started out good, but he got downhill on me during the canter work and starting to dive down ... down down until I was screwed. Sigh.

The old Winner's Circle

I believe at one point the venue was called Lincoln Fields

Bar in the Grandstand building
(we went trespassing exploring)

This is what remains of an old tunnel that goes under the road, and comes out
by a train station. 

Cool stuffs

Clocks showing the time at various tracks across the country.
Except all these clocks were dead.

But STILL we managed a 61%. Which I took it and RAN. That's our second score for regionals, and a fine score considering the canter work was a struggle. I think he was just getting tired.

--

Royale also did GREAT this weekend! He behaved himself so well in an atmosphere that had a number of seasoned horses losing their shit! He and Liz also took home a high point award and Royale got some great experience.

Nerd.

---

I didn't get back to the farm until about 10 pm because I ended up stopping to pick up a stranded eventer on I65. She had blown 2 tires. I felt so bad for her. I took her horse back to our farm for the night, and she was able to get new tires in the morning.

--

Overall I give Balmoral Park an A+ as a venue! Outstanding footing, nice facilities, friendly staff. My ONLY complaint is that there isn't much food close by. The surrounding areas are a little sketch, so you have to drive 15-20 minutes for anything decent. So if we go again, will make sure to pack some food!

Porkchop approved of the stall windows

Also, we drove through a SANDSTORM on the way home.
In INDIANA.
eery.

Whew! Man I am happy to get back into the normal routine for a while now.

Good boy Hampton!

KDA Spring Show results

Photo by Sue Stickle (purchased photo)

First show of the season is in the books!

We haven't been in the show ring since October so naturally I pick a large rated show and a 5* International judge (Lilo Fore) to show in front of and knock off the cobwebs. Perhaps not the best decision.

Kentucky heat is in full force so I only walked Hampton Thursday evening for about an hour. I did not want to waste any of his energy.

Beautiful Kentucky Horse Park!

Our first class Friday morning was the PSG and he warmed up OK, he was tight in the back and was snarky in the changes, kicking out some and never really was supple in the neck.

The test went ok. By no means was it a disaster, but there were many mistakes caused by a tight back and the fact that he was diving down in the bridle on me. Once he does this, I am really screwed because I don't know how to get him back up to me within the test.

He was also gaping his mouth for a lot of the test. Which is probably due to his tight back.

The judges were not giving away points in the first place, so any mistakes were expensive. We managed a 59%+. Just short of our 60%. A real bummer, but I expected it. Lots of comments on how downhill he is. Yep.

Not downhill when he is fucking watching the chaos around the horse park.

I did my AA Equitation class later that day and the judge basically told me to do whatever I wanted as long as I showed all 3 gaits, some transitions, etc. so I basically did a Training Level test. It went fine, and the judge gave me a 73%. This does qualify me for regionals! I need to keep my toes in though dammit!

Saturday morning we did another PSG. Warm up was a bit better but still a tight back. However, for once things got a little better in the ring. The trot work was SMOKIN, perhaps the best trot work I have ever gotten from Hampton in the ring. He was super! But then after the extended walk, I did not get him back uphill quick enough before the canter. And then you go right into the half pass zig zag. Once again he started to dive, and we had mistakes in the canter in places again. He was falling behind my aids and really downhill. Another 59%+. SO CLOSE.

Point Given by the Hall of Champions

noms

Saturday night was my freestyle! Many of my friends came to watch, so naturally things went to shit. Hampton warmed up ok, but as soon as I started to circle the ring I knew something was wrong. REALLY WRONG. At the first extended canter, I asked him to go and ... nothing. He was stuck in neutral, totally behind my aids and I could NOT touch him AT ALL. I realized his tongue was over the bit and I was shit out of luck. I considered excusing myself for a second, but decided that I might as well run through the music. I nursed him around, frozen in place. His tongue was everywhere, his nose diving inbetween his front legs. He started tripping and stumbling everywhere. It was atrocious and embarassing. But somehow we still managed a dismal 60%. IN A FREESTYLE.

Photo from our freestyle. Can't really see the look of terror on my face.

---

So basically, I'm not sure what to do at this point. Why does this keep happening at shows? He has been working great at home and I felt ready, yet our scores are worse than last year.

I don't feel like we need to step down a level at this point, as was the case last year.

Official DQ uniform?

Hamp and Fluffy our mascot

And I do keep in mind that THIS IS HARD, and we are both very new at this.

I am going to try a few other strategies to help his back at the next show. So hopefully that will help. And maybe we just needed to knock off the rust. Hampton will never be a 70% horse but I'd like to see us get some 63s, 64s in the PSG. I don't feel he is telling me that he has reached his limit yet, I think we are just struggling with a tight back and keeping the uphill balance at shows.

So we are back at it this weekend at a show in IL! Hoping we can escape some humidity for a bit!

Royale is joining us for this adventure as well!

We did win our PSG classes tho, beating out another AA. 

It's here! It's here!!!!!!

*HEART EYES*

The custom saddle rep came out Thursday morning to fit myself and Hampton for our new saddle. She was incredibly nice, and I tried 3 saddles before falling in love with one.

At first Custom had said it would take 14-18 weeks before I would get my saddle. While bummed, I had accepted that and prepared to wait patiently.

But when I fell in love with a Wolfgang Solo with short blocks, the rep said "Hey, I have one in the van that is brand new. It's exactly your budget. Want it?"

So that's how I ended up WITH MY NEW SADDLE!!

It fits Hampton so much better, and is comfy to ride in. I no longer rock in the canter - which I had always blamed on Hampton being croup-high, but now I see that it was my saddle causing the rocking. #doh

He also feels more free in the shoulder, and did not pin his ears when I tightened the girth.

So I took that as a sign that he likes it!

It needs to be broken in some, and after that the rep can come out and make any other adjustments. But I could not be happier with it. My dream saddle finally, and I didn't have to spend a dime.

Like who wins these contests? WHO?!!! Still so surreal!

I am so thankful to Dressage Today, Custom and Triple Crown who put together this contest. Such an amazing opportunity that I will never forget.

The Making of a Freestyle: Part 5 Tying the music together

This movement not in our freestyle

Previous posts on the making of my freestyle:

PART 1: The Elements
PART 2: Qualifying
PART 3: Choosing music
PART 4: Puzzle pieces


If you choose to go to a Freestyle clinic and have that person go ahead and finish your freestyle for you, then your work is finished pretty much.

But if you are like me and don't have $900 to fork over for someone to do what you can figure out how to do yourself, then read on.

So I have the music I want, and I'm now qualified (my PSG scores from last fall count). I have choreography that shows some level of difficulty, but still flows and is within our capabilities.

The real training pyramid

Now what?

Well, now you have to put your music together. There are a number of audio editing programs out there. I recommend Audacity, which is free to download and pretty easy to figure out. I used WavePad for this go around, which wasn't all that great but got the job done.

What I did was watched my video of myself riding through my freestyle and matched the music to that footage. There is of course some wiggle room in case something happens (spook, stumble, mistake, etc.). But there are markers I do have to hit.

You also want to make sure you smooth out your transitions within the music. Add a fade effect or something similar to that your changes in music aren't abrupt and choppy. You can also add effects for changes in movements like a "crash!" for extended trot or make the music super quiet for a pirouette. Options are endless!

After I was happy with my music, I made it into a .wav file and uploaded it to my Google drive so that I could play it on my phone whenever I wanted.

Eventually you will burn it to a CD to take to shows.

Once you have your music, you need to run through it in a regulation size ring. Pay attention to your markers, and where you may be able to adjust your pattern. Sometimes you may have to go back and edit your music more.

I actually went back and changed my entire canter tour music because I really didn't like the way it got monotonous as I did the movements. I selected better music with more changes and variety in the rhythm. It flows much better now.

... and then you are ready to take it to the ring!

Which I will be doing in about a week with Hampton! *GULP*
We need a 63% to get a score for regionals. I'm a little nervous about that, but we'll see! We are showing next Saturday night at the KY horse Park in the big dressage arena for our freestyle debut.

No pressure or anything!

**Note: There are many roads to Rome. This is just the way I ended up putting together a freestyle. Do whatever works for you!

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n roll

The Porkchop is cruising right along in his training. He seems to be feeling great thanks to a round of Polyglycan, and we are both starting to feel much more confirmed in the PSG. Instead of pulling a Hail Mary at our first show in a couple of weeks, I feel like I can actually ride the test and have a handle on things. It's a great feeling - to feel ready. But I know I can't get complacent. I have felt ready before and then totally blew it. lol.

I thought I'd share a handful of my favorite exercises at the moment. We are focused on straightness, suppleness and helping him bring his chest up so his front legs can get out of the way when his back end starts to motor. 

These can all be changed up to suit the level of  you and your horse, too! Some can be made easier, and also more challenging.

** Note: I did not come up with these. These are just tools I have gathered from various lessons, clinics, etc. that I have found useful for my particular horse.

___

Haunches in

Tons of transitions while staying in HI. I like to do a lot of collected canter, then working canter, then big canter all within the HI. Then back down. Then change to SI for a few strides.

Half pass to leg yield

Start in half pass (any gait), change to leg yield and really bring the haunches over. Then back to half pass. This is great to helping his back supple. Really get the positioning accurate.

Counter bend in counter canter

For example, if you are on the left lead going on the right rein - so in counter canter - flex your horse to the right so he is counter bent. This is a great connecting exercise as it brings the hind legs more underneath the horse. Also, good for horses who might anticipate changes when you try and straighten them.

SI-leg yield

Shoulder-in while cantering, turn down quarter line and leg yield to the rail while keeping SI positioning.

Extended trot - leg yield

Extend across the short diagonal, when you hit the rail, immediately do a head-to-wall leg yield. Change it up next time and do shoulder-in at the rail.

Canter leg yields

Long, forward sweeping leg yields across the ring.

Extended canter "just kidding" exercise

Extend across the ring, or down the long side. Halt when you hit the corner, turn around (head to the rail) and trot away. Helps with horses who like to barge around the corners after an extension.

Hope these are useful! I have a billion of these if you all would like me to do a series or whatnot.

ALSO:

My freestyle series will pick back up because I FINALLY FINISHED MINE.