Results are in! I am a mutant.

My genetic test results came in!

I got a hefty 6-page report with quite a bit of detailed, science-y language that flies right over my little pea brain but I managed to summarize.

I have a mutation in the CHEK2 gene which is "likely pathogenic" - so likely to cause disease.

And another variant "of unknown significance" was detected in BARD1. So basically, there isn't enough science yet to determine what this means, if anything.

What does this mean?

Well, my risk of breast and colon cancer could be increased by as much as 40%. My risk of literally ANY other cancer might also be increased because CHEK2 functions as a tumor-suppressing gene. That is bare bones but click here for more detailed information for you science nerds.

I am heterozygous for R117G variant. The 1100delC variant is the most studied and implicated with breast and other cancers.

A lazy Buckley photo

About CHEK2

The name CHEK2 stands for Checkpoint Kinase 2. The gene is located on chromosome 22. CHEK2 helps control how cells divide. It can protect cells from becoming cancerous.

So everyone has two copies of CHEK2, one from each parent. Mutations in one copy can increase your cancer risk.

What the hell is BARD1?

The name BARD1 stands for BRCA1 Associated Ring Domain 1. BARD1 is located on chromosome 2. The BARD1  gene works with BRCA1 to repair damaged DNA. Although the two genes work together, the effects of a mutation are different; people with a BARD1 mutation do not have the same cancer risk as people with a BRCA1 mutation.

And since my test came back as a variant of unknown significance. Well, uhhh, not sure?

Squinty bareback rides are good for the soul lol

What I am going to do

I still have to go back to my regular doctor, but the genetic counselor recommended breast cancer screening every 6 months, alternating between breast MRI and regular mammogram. And to get a colonoscopy somewhat soon. There was no talk of mastectomy or any other radical procedures. That is still on the table, but for right now I don't feel it is urgent. (I might if I had a BRCA mutation though)

I am unsure about how much anxiety to assign to this bit of news.

Do I freak out? Become a hypochondriac? I'm just not sure.

Interestingly, my sister has the same mutations I do. She is the one with ovarian cancer and the reason I did this. (But she is doing really well!). 

I guess my plan is to keep on living life. L-I-V-I-N. 

Aiken 2022: Closing time

 

Friday we took the entire herd to Hitchcock woods! This is the first time we have been able to go as a big group. The energy was definitely higher but everyone stayed on and had fun.

There was a moment of impending doom scooting when a big branch broke in the woods, sending horses scattering every direction. Hampton thankfully just went sideways and I was able to wrangle him fairly quickly. 

Other than that it was a lovely ride.

Most of the crew!

Yes, we wore our Aiken 2022 T-shirts. #nerds #not ashamed

If you turn right here, there is quicksand especially after heavy rains. 

Also, if anyone has a Vampire Penguin in their town I will literally move in with you because this was the BEST thing I ate the entire week. It's just shaved ice but holy smokes AMAZING.

I literally never take photos of food but PRAISE BABY JESUS

After packing up for the haul back home the next morning, we went out to a nice dinner and hit the sack. 

Very thankful we had easy, uneventful trips there and back. No bodies in the road this year. All humans healthy and happy. I even got a little relaxation time in the Airbnb hammock this year.

 

I miss Aiken already!

Back to reality and maybe plan a 2022 show season?

Aiken 2022: Lessons

 

Mirror selfie haha

My favorite thing about Aiken is the quality of instruction you can get within a 5-10 mile radius.

This year I decided to stick with just one instructor, the S judge, and really crack down on show ring problems.

At the beginning of our first lesson, she actually got on him for a few minutes! So many instructors won't get on horses (and for good reason), so I was really impressed. She was able to feel what I was feeling. And she said "Yup, he's tough". I was sort of hoping she would get on and be like "Oh you idiot this is your problem" but no, it seems he really is tough to ride in an uphill balance.

My green bean arse watching someone who knows what they are doing.

But not impossible.

We worked hard for two days on respecting the rein aids, suppleness, piaffe, passage, half passes and LETTING GO of the reins more than I think is necessary. 

Man this horse is teaching me a lot! It really takes instructors like this who have ridden and coached many MANY different types of horses. It takes some unconventional tools and tricks. There is no magical "fix", no magical way of riding. This is horse training.

It was 80+ degrees too which was faaaaaabulous

I think we may have had a breakthrough and I am keeping at it. Whether I can carry it over to the show ring ... well that's yet to be seen.

I also had my saddle reflocked on Tuesday of the week. Another great thing about Aiken is that there is a Custom rep in the area and she scooted over, relfocked my saddle a bit to make some adjustments and off I went down the road for a lesson. Done and done!

Friday was our last day and that was Hitchcock woods day! Coming up!

Such a lovely farm to ride at

Also got this really cute halter!

Aiken 2022: Jumps!

 I retired Hampton from jumping several years ago.

Buuuut the footing in Aiken is soft, forgiving sand. And his feet have been feeling good (or not feeling at all, haha. Errr). And we needed a mental break from dressage.

Plus when you go to Aiken with a group of fun eventers who let you borrow their tack, and then peer pressure you. I was doomed.

We was ganna jump.

Thought I might vomit but this jumped really nice haha

I didn't go crazy. I will admit once I got some confidence I wanted to jump more but I'm just too paranoid about Hampton's feet. He loved it though and jumped everything I pointed him at. We even did a little baby bank coming out of water.

Perhaps we will make this a yearly thing!

Aiken 2022: Doin' the GP

 

Herro? On the road!

I really failed on the blog front this year. Last year I kept notes, blogged pretty much every day at the Airbnb and kept photos in order.

This year I was more focused on enjoying the moment and running myself into the limits of human exhaustion. haha.

But Aiken was amazing and as usual did not disappoint!

Very thankful for an uneventful drive down with the exception of hitting some dense fog in the mountains that nearly made me shit my pants.

Always the first order of business

The boys (Hamp and stepbrother Royale) hauled great and settled right in, as did the other 4 geldings in the convoy. We stayed at Jumping Branch Farm again and it's starting to feel like a second home.

The next day, a Friday, we schooled at Bruce's Field under the eye of AM - an S judge - who I took lessons from back in December. Hamp schooled wonderfully and I felt prepared for the weekend where we would do the Grand Prix Saturday and Sunday.

By the way the weather was GORGEOUS

Palm trees haha

Saturday's test was .... not great. He warmed up great and I felt like we might have a good go when I went into the ring. The canter work was pretty good (hit all 15 ones!) but ... there was some sort of miscommunication because he just ... quit ... in the piaffe passage. I mean like just stopped dead. And then he did it again in the right canter pirouette. I'm not sure if it was my tension? Or the way I warmed up? I took him back into warm up after the test and he resumed pi/pa just beautifully. He didn't seem tired, or annoyed or anything like that. I feel it was me and I was probably too tense and half halting way too hard. I think he thought he was doing what I wanted. He never got pissy or snarky. It was like "Stop moving my feets now?" and I'm like "NOOOO!!!!!"

A Porkchop nose 

Also I am a little ashamed at my stalker fangirling of people in Aiken.
Like we don't see Boyd Martin at local shows in Louisville OK!!!
(This was at JBF which held a recognized event the same weekend we competed at Bruce's field because it's Aiken and just take your pick of shows every weekend no biggie)

Without any pi/pa it is not possible to get a 60 in the GP since those are a third of the score (well, I guess you can if you score 8s-9s in everything else), so we got a deserved score of 53. I was disappointed, but decided to change my warmup for the next day to help prevent that problem.

Sunday I warmed up just a little bit differently and had a much better test! I still made some mistakes (I screwed up last part of the canter zig zag, and flubbed the very start of the ones). And this time he started to dive in the poll affected the overall balance and quickness to the aids. BUT we did get pi/pa and there was no stopping at all. 

On the way to warmup with a game plan

I was quite happy with our now best score of 59% and some change! While annoying, I now know that a 60+ is not impossible. We just need more polish and I need to be better about keeping the balance throughout the test. And AM saw the test which I was really happy about because now she saw exactly what he does in the ring (which he does not do at home) so she could help me with some tools in our upcoming lessons.

The Grand Prix is HARD, YO. 

A 59% cannot ruin riding such a good boi in such gorgeous weather!

Every time I go in there I learn. These might not be admirable scores but honestly I am not going to get better unless I keep doing it. Hamp only knows he was a Very Good Boy and has no idea of the scores, or what he cost or how other horses find this so much easier. So that's what counts. Bringing our at-home quality work into the show ring has ALWAYS been an issue for us from the very beginning. At every level. So I know this will get better, just gotta keep working.

And the good thing was I had a week of lessons and riding coming up to make everything stronger!

But after that weekend, I decided we both earned a break from dressage land .....*evil grin*

My barn friend K (right) in the warm up with multi-Olympian Boyd. No biggie.
She made her Third level debut and rocked it!

Aiken 2022: Prologue

Mini adventure before Aiken.
Annnnd a powerwash for the trailer is in the plans.

It's that time already! Holy smokes our Aiken 2022 trip has snuck up so quickly.

I am in the midst of preparing. Getting organized, getting the horse cleaned up, packing. Making lists. Freaking out. The usual.

This is the big group trip, and right on schedule everyone is having their own freak outs. Incidents have included:

• Breaking halter and running off
• Rider falling off
• Horse rearing, striking out
• Horse bucking and bolting
• Mild colic
• Hampton Anonymous Grand Prix horse refusing to stop!!
• Back soreness

I won't embarrass anyone by calling out which horse did what though. haha. 

I also took a day off work and hauled up to Indy to take a lesson with JC. I really needed a boost before Aiken. Here are some notes from our lesson.

• Square exercise. In each corner turn on the forehand, but get out before he falls on outside shoulder
• Trot out of turn, think piaffe in turn
• Then start to "tiny passage" on sides, piaffe in turn
• Medium on one side, piaffe to turn
• Kick kick to keep shoulders up! Not forward and flat 
• Slide legs forward toward his shoulders
• Canter out of turns, do 2 flying changes before next turn. Walk, do the turn, canter
• Eventually do a turn on forehand in the canter.
• Outside legs sends him forward
• Think turn on forehand with inside leg, outside legs keeps the forward thought. ... Bingo, super canter piro!
• STOP OVER RIDING (I accept too much work. lol)
• Act like he will be perfect, and then work from there with corrections.

And Hamp got a good session with a Bemer blanket after work, too. He seemed to really enjoy it.

A leg wrap works great as a poll thingie too

Hampton was of course a very good boy. He is feeling fresh, swingy (thanks Adequan!) and fit.

We leave Thursday! 

The Silent Teachers

I saw this post from Olivia Lagoy Weltz on the Gram and thought this was so perfect. It reminded me of Hampton and so many of our horses. Such important creatures.

The road to the Grand Prix and the international arena is a long one full of many ups and downs. It takes a village to get there, and in that village are the horses that the world may never know. They may have just one gift, or many gifts, but they all have something to offer. These amazing teachers come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes you find them in the place you least expect it. Few of these horses will ever become international horses themselves but their place in our lives and our journey is invaluable. To the silent teachers, the horses the world may never know, but without whom there would be no journey.