The Trainer Post

This post has been a long-time coming and sadly this topic has caused me significant stress throughout my riding career. It's sad, but I'm not alone.

Fun show with ZERO instructors! Just good friends.

Trainers. Instructors. Coaches.

SprinklerBandit wrote a small post touching on this subject CLICK HERE to read it.
But I'm going to expand and offer my opinion. Like it or not, I'm going to go there.

Here's the thing, a trainer is providing you a service. You are the client, you pay them. Why would you accept sub par service or emotional and physical abuse from someone you are giving your hard-earned money to?

Here's another observation of mine. It seems to run rampant in the dressage community. There is a certain sector of mostly adult amateurs that I call "clingers" or "instructor worshipers." You know exactly who I am talking about. They are constantly raving about how much of a "miracle worker" Susie Nobody is. At shows, you will see Susie Nobody and her pathetic group of minions following her everywhere around the showgrounds.

Gag me.

Can you not think for yourself?

At the moment I have 2 instructors. I don't call them my trainers because I train my horse, not them. They help me from the ground. Do I think they are great? Yes! Do I think they are the best fucking trainers in the world and they leave me speechless after every lesson? No. They are normal people who are providing me a service. I do consider them friends as well. They are excellent observers, and excellent business women. Which is why I do business with them.

At shows I like to wander. I like to listen and observe everyone else. I don't blindly follow one trainer around and hope they give me a cookie or something.

If your instructor is a bitch to you, and treats you in such a why that you CRY. I have to ask WHY you are paying them money? If you are paying insane amounts of money for a person to "warm you up" at a show, and they don't actually say anything to you, WHY are you paying them? If they throw their hands up in frustration and then storm off from the side of the warm up arena when you ask them a question, WHY are you paying them?

I am smart enough to know when we have a sucky test. No need for you to say my horse
trots like a certain food you find at fairs.

I'll say this. When one person insulted my horse and tried to shame me at a horse show, and then outright tried to bully me into paying them to ride in a clinic I could not afford (then started making threats) ... I fired them. On the spot.

"You know, you would do so much better if only you were on a regular riding program," she said. The thing is, I do nothing BUT take lessons. What she meant was, "You would do better if you took regular lessons with ME."  That is shaming.

"I'm sorry YOU feel guilt tripped," she said when I called her out on trying to bully me (emotional manipulation is a form of bullying). This type of statement is unacceptable to me. As if I am the one with the problem here?! No, ma'am.

Fired.

YOU are the client here, YOU have the control. Don't let trainers treat you like a check-writing possession. You can leave whenever you want to. You can take lessons from other people. You can take NO lessons if you want to. It's your horse, and your money. It is NO ONE ELSE'S FUCKING BUSINESS how you spend it.

Obviously people will spend their money how they please. I don't care if they want to lesson with Susie Nobody, I can only hope they don't experience what I did. Maybe they will see the light. Or maybe they are fine jogging around at Intro level for 10 years. There is certainly nothing wrong with that.

I'm just urging people to open your eyes. Stand up for yourself, for your horse, for your education.

Please don't be a clinger. Check out other opinions - even just online. Or go watch a friend's lesson. Your trainer is not a god. Most likely they are just like anyone else, probably a Susie Nobody just trying to make a living.

Except you won't make a living being a jerk to me!

... to cover my bases, I do recognize that some parts of the industry are made up of owners who are very hands-off. The trainer does everything, right down to managing their horse's feed, farrier, etc etc. The owner just shows up at the show to ride. Or maybe not even that. That is OK, everyone can enjoy their horse however they see fit.

But you should still demand to be treated fairly.

I understand wanting to be loyal. I am fiercely loyal to those who treat me with respect and dignity. I have been taking lessons with my Indiana teacher since 2003 (when I first got serious about dressage). She has outlasted several boyfriends, 4 cars and two horses! ha!

I guess my point is the way that some of these so-called trainers treat their clients is a bunch of crap. It really needs to stop. If you feel you should leave, of course try to leave on good terms and don't burn bridges.

But if need be, fire their ass.