Buckley: 2007-2024

One of my favorite photos. lol

I lost Buckley on February 5, 2024.

***

After Buckley's bowel impaction was resolved shortly after Christmas, he really didn't perk back up like he had all the times before. He would drink, but would really only nibble at treats or food. 

He had gone from 19 pounds down to 15.

I took him back to the vet where we ran bloodwork for a second time since December. His bilirubin was high and he was diagnosed with Hepatic Lipidosis (Fatty Liver disease). After speaking with the vets (there are two at the practice I go to), prognosis was good as about 90% of cats recover from HP with aggressive nutrition.

January 17, 2024.
Hip bones sticking out, but he was still doing cat things

So, I tried syringe and force feeding for about 3 days before I realized it was just not going to work. I wasn't getting enough food in him (he was a ... larger boned kitty), and it was just mean to force feed a nauseated cat. The process was making us BOTH gag.

So, around January 26 I made the decision to have an E-Tube placed. Buckley handled the quick, 10 minute procedure like a champ. I took him home that day with a brief how-to on tube feeding a cat. At this point, he was down to 13.8 pounds. You could easily see and feel his spine. The day before I had the tube placed, he turned YELLOW. I thought, ok we seemed to have caught this liver disease early or just in time.

He was pretty jaundice

I was METICULOUS about feeding him. Slowly increasing his feed, diligently feeding him every 4-5 hrs. Although a couple of days he did go 6-7 hours because I had to work. Always fed 3 times a day, sometimes 4 or 5. My kitchen turned into an assembly line of bowls, syringes, medication and food. I woke up an hour early to feed him before going to the barn.

My Cat Hospice kitchen was a mess

He did develop a mild little skin infection under the neck wrap, and during a bandage change on February 1, the vets were really impressed how well his jaundice had approved and his weight loss had stopped! That day he came back home and was perky - even going out on the balcony and sniffing around. He watched me shower, and sunned upon his throne in the spare bedroom. 

February 2, 2024
Came up for trash TV/cuddle time

By February 3, I had noted his jaundice was almost completely GONE. 

On Monday, February 5, I fed him lunch at 11 a.m. He snored and purred while I fed him, which was not unusual. I left and took Hampton to Lexington for a photo shoot. I did not get home until almost 8 pm. When I walked in the door, he did not come out and greet me like he usually does. I called for him and he came crawling out from under my bed. This was not unusual, he has a nest in my box spring.

I sat down on the couch to take a break for a minute, getting his dinner syringes set up and warmed up. I turned on the TV and sat back. Buckley came around the corner, and walked up his step stool onto the couch and onto my lap. I noticed immediately he was in respiratory distress. His breathing was not rapid, but it was EFFORTFUL. Heaving with his abdomen. He laid down and purred and purred. I knew this was it as I called the Emergency Vet with my information. 

It broke my heart to have to get him up off my lap and into the carrier. He only ever wanted to be on my lap.

I arrived at the ER and they triaged him immediately. That, also, is a very very bad feeling. I sat in a bright, cold, sterile room until the vet came in and told me they had found a heart murmur (first I have ever heard he had one), and significant pleural effusion. Buckley was in heart failure. Diagnostics also showed an enlarged heart and slightly large liver.

When the tech wrote "Buckley, ER" on the board I nearly lost it

My decision was very clear and thankfully the vets did stabilize him first, giving him cat morphine and oxygen so he did look a little better when the vet brought him to me. He looked stoned, but better. He went so peacefully, just softly lying his head down as I pet him and whispered in his ear.

And then you are "that person" with an empty carrier walking out of the vet clinic at 11 pm, bloodshot eyes and make the lonely, lonely drive home.

My favorite of his haircuts - the mohawk hahahaha

***

I started to look for someone to blame. Should I have been more aggressive getting that bowel impaction cleared? Did the vets miss heart disease? 

But, everyone did everything right. His body just failed. My suspicion is that due to his age (and, um, weight most of his life) that heart disease was probably lurking behind the scenes this whole time.

Side note: When I found Buckley's adoption papers from when I first acquired him in 2015, I noticed his birth year said 2007!!! I did not realize the old man was pushing 17 years old! Possibly older!

CLASSIC Buckley pose

***

Since Buckley only ever wanted to be by my side, I elected to have him privately cremated and now his ashes are back home. It was oddly more comforting than I expected. 

I am so thankful for the friends and kind messages who hold me steady through such gut wrenching grief. And Hampton, too, has taken on double emotional-support animal duties. Buckley was with me for almost 10 years. And a lot has happened in these particular 10 years. There are some moments where he was my only friend. Many holidays and nights it was just me and Buckley. I am so thankful he and I got to cross paths in all the space and time continuum. 

Buckley I hope you find many cats in cat heaven to harass and smack on the head, one of your very favorite things to do. 

And all the sunbeams.

PoopGate and the Plague

Oh hey, 2024!

Mood.

Finally crawling out of a bit of a rough patch.

Buckley, my orange and white cat, went through a border-line life threatening bout with constipation at the end of 2023. He lost almost 4 pounds, and after weeks of getting enemas, lactulose, SubQ fluids, vomiting, (one day I found him exhausted from straining in the litterbox and he was face down in a pile of vomit), anti-nausea shots and general misery - my wonderful vets finally gave him one last enema, let it marinate and then one vet stuck her finger up his ass and the other vet pushed on his colon and they were finally able to get the impaction out. He was very good about it. I know I would not have been.

Recently got a bath because he was crusty with dried vomit, lactulose and poop.

So Buckley has lost his chonk status, but he does seem to be recovering and I am not even more of a stalker about his litter box habits than I was before. How embarrassing.

We also had a foster cat - Leo! He was wonderful and recently got adopted by a lovely elderly lady who had lost her feline companion. Oh by the way HE ALSO GOT SICK with an URI when he first arrived so it was a really great time.

Buckley getting fluids at my mom's house over Christmas.
 He had to go with me he was so sick.

Then, as I was trying to clean up my condo which had become a disaster area of Cat Critical Care, I came down with WestNile Covid RSV Bird Flu. 

Fluid bag station in my condo.

And of course it just so happens I had lessons scheduled with the BFF and instructor JC in Indiana. Hampton got two days off because I could barely function and was winded after doing simple barn chores. But I figured I will be recovered in time for lesson days.

hahaha.

I was very fortunate to ride a lovely Grand Prix PRE horse, and then honored to hop on the BFF's new young horse. Awesome horses, but I was gasping for air by the time I got on Hampton. I nearly lasted my whole lesson but had to cut it short when I started to hyperventilate and starting seeing white spots. I have never cut a lesson short like that. EVER. 

Hampton carrying my carcass around during a lesson.

Thankfully the next day I was on the upswing and was able to give Hampton a really nice ride. We are working on trying to lower his croup and get those withers up. He needs to send his energy UP and not lurching forward. He needs to learn to bend his hocks and carry weight, instead of pushing up in his croup. Always a work in progress.

So ... cool start to 2024. 

Onward.

An Aiken end to 2023

Stayed at Jumping Branch farm - our favorite!

Hamp and I skipped town for a short getaway to Aiken, South Carolina last week. I love Aiken and it doesn't take much to convince me to take some PTO and go.

We arrived on Wednesday and took the boys (Hampton and TB eventer/dressage buddy, E) on a 40 minute walk before absolutely binge eating at TakoSushi. This is becoming a tradition haha.

Lesson day

On Thursday we hauled over to SD's place where we both had super lessons. Takeaways:

Smoothed out I-2 trot half pass zig zag. Think shoulder-fore instead of pushing haunches out.

Less leg! Too much begging. Take legs OFF.

Travel the piaffe, then bring back and ask for more engagement. Let out.

Stay uphill in changes, if he dives abandon changes and circle

Shortened my stirrups a half a hole, this helped with dropping heels away

Keep following in walk and extended walk. Cue to piaffe is to stop following.

Leg yield in, half pass back to the rail

You bet your ass I double time him so he doesn't escape from the trailer.

Schooling day

On Friday we hit up 4 tack stores before 11 a.m. I was really surprised my bank didn't call me to ask what the hell was going on. I mostly behaved myself with one exception. I purchased a lovely pair of navy DeNiro boots, which off the rack fit me perfectly. It's the first time I have ever been able to buy a nice new pair of boots for myself. They are AMAZING and so comfortable.

This photo does not do them justice. A really pretty, subtle navy blue.

After boosting the economy, we hauled over to The Vista where both of us were able to work on our dressage freestyle choreography. My freestyle ended up being a minute too short, which was annoying but at least I found that out now. I spent the evening re-doing some of my freestyle to eat up more time. The Grand Prix freestyle has to be between 5:30 and 6 minutes. I can't believe the judges want to watch me for 5 minutes. I can literally do all the requirements in 4 minutes and then put you out of your misery.

The Vista is really lovely!

Show Day

We were up bright and early for an 8:39 centerline time for the I-2. Hampton warmed up great. The test was decently solid, pretty average really. Unfortunately I made a mistake in the 1s and let Hampton do 12 instead of 11. So we missed a 60 just barely. 

Love Stable View's indoor area with perfect perfect footing.

We have zero cushion at the Big Tour for any mistakes, so it is what it is. I need to ride better. I think I got in my head about how pretty it is to show at Stable View haha.

Sunday

After spending most of Sunday morning in Eventer Land, we got lucky with the rain and were able to go video my new and improved Freestyle. This time we hit up a new-to-us farm called Sandy Hills. They had two dressage arenas (with mirrors!), XC jumps, a POND TO SWIM IN, a gallop track and a derby field. Really cool place and we will be back.

It rained on and off this day but it was still beautiful.

Anyway, got the freestyle to hit the right time this go around. Done and dusted!

The dapples kill me haha

It's time to do some homework over the holidays, before heading back to Aiken in March. 

The World is not your oyster

Gotten a request to write more so ... here goes. haha.

I don't have experience in the trenches of many disciplines, so maybe my observations are off base. But is it just me or do dressage people expect to be constantly accommodated? 

Photo by L. Dean. October 2023. I-2

Years ago, I was at a small dressage show (recognized) and there was a tent for a vendor set well away from the show ring, but along a walking path for both people and horses. It was Friday and we were schooling. I hear a lady start to shout that show management should take the tent down because "it is spooking my horse!" 

Hampton fucking around at third level because behind the judge there was a wall he could see over and he wanted to look so I put my inside leg on him. Whose fault is that? Not anyone's but my sucky riding.

More recently, I saw a post on the book of Face, regarding construction going on at the Kentucky Horse Park. They are making improvements for equestrians and for the park in general. Including building brand new barns. Yes, some of that construction was next to a walking path for the horses. And yup, it riled up some fresh dressage horses. Boy did people complain. 

Horse fly attack. Also, no one's fault.

I have never ONCE seen any Morgan or Saddlebred people act so entitled and except the environment to be accommodated for their "spooky horse." They just sit back and hang on. And while I have not been heavily involved, I would be willing to bet the western disciplines would never make such a comment. They also have hot, spooky horses, in spite of what many might believe.

I have certainly had many moments where Hampton spooked at something in the distance, or a sound, or seemingly nothing. I remember one instance where a plastic bag flew right into the show arena while I was doing a turn on the haunches. Hampton never flinched. My training and our partnership won in that moment. 

Remember the time I threw event tack on Hampton and he stopped at the second fence AT STARTER and I fell off? He was doing I-1 at the time, by the way. He was buddy sour that day and I failed at riding. FAILED.

But other moments it did not. You know whose problem that is? Mine. And only mine. Not the show, not any other competitor, not my coach, not the person who served me breakfast. It is MY training and MY partnership with the horse. 

PSG

In summary, we need to suck less. Ride better, be a better handler, do more homework. Suck less. Also, horses will sometimes spook and go AWOL anyway. We need to better prepare our horses and ourselves to handle different environments. And if it doesn't go our way, laugh it off and try again. 

Quite expecting to be accommodated.

Dipping toes back in

 After a really solid summer of competing I-1 and doing a lot of polishing especially as far as test riding, I decided to do a brave thing and entered an I-2 at a little recognized show a couple hours south. And I took the double bridle, which I have not shown Hampton in since The Big Shutdown of 2022.

Photo by L. Dean

We watched our DQ friend kick some booty in her two tests, then I tacked up Hampton, warmed up in the facility indoor and said hell let's see what happens.

A peeping Tom by the trailer dressing room.

Somewhere along the line this year, a switch went off. Something clicked with both of us. I can ride Hampton within the test without him shutting down, he is pretty darn reliable in the movements, and even his uphill balance has somewhat improved. And by that I mean he doesn't dive down in the bridle so horrifically. (Let's be real he will never be uphill).

The judge rewarded a willing horse with clear gaits, who was on the aids. Yes the passage was pretty flat that day, but that's our homework. We walked away with our best score to date in the I-2: a 64.1% which shattered our previous best by far.

The BEST boy.
Photo by L. Dean

He didn't shut down at all, although I felt him THINK about sucking back behind that double bridle. So while it went very very well, I think my best bet is to stick with showing him in the snaffle. But it was fun to experiment and see where we were.

I really enjoyed the facility which was a small private farm, but they gave out wonderful entry goody bags, had a lovely staff, good footing and an overall pleasant atmosphere. Good for them for hosting a USDF recognized show! We need more of these one-dayers.

Good dressage bay boys!

Next up we will be preparing for a clinic in December, and shortly after making a short trip to Aiken where I have another I-2 on the radar at Stable View. 

And in the meantime ... we are working on another freestyle. This time Grand Prix.

I am a masochist.

From Pork to Chop

 It's Hampton's favorite time of year.

He gets to be nekked, he is furry, he is no longer overheated all the time, he gets to get dirty, he starts getting a little more food, and work lets up (just a little haha).

FML.
That's a tail nest of burrs.

His transformation from sleek show horse to .... feral beast ... cracks me up every year.

Regionals recap!

USDF Region 2 Regional Championships 

Attending Regionals is always 1) A super cool and special experience. It isn't like a normal show, and everyone works their ass off to earn their way; 2) An exhausting marathon for people and horses.

Prologue

Hampton qualified in both the I1 and I1 freestyle this year and I threw in the AA Equitation Finals class so we had something to do on Friday that was not physically taxing for Hamps. We arrived on Wednesday after a 6 hour drive, and went on a brief walk-only hack. Thursday we had a lesson with one of my favorite Indiana trainers where she kicked my ass about keeping Hampton's shoulders up, and not letting him hide behind the aids. So I was thankful I had planned Friday to be an "easy day." Harr dee har.

Porkchop's penthouse

Friday

The AA Equitation class was Friday afternoon and the class was jam packed full of really great riders. There was at least 15 people in the class, probably more. We all did walk and trot together in the arena, and they split us into 3 groups for canter work.

After that, each person did the posted pattern. When it was all said and done, the class lasted AN HOUR AND A HALF. Hampton and I were both over it, and if you tried to stand still at all you got eaten alive by gnats. So I tried to keep walking.

Hampton was of course perfect for all of the work, and landed us a solid 5th place. The competition was tough and I'm just not exactly what the judges are looking for because I am 1) too stiff of a rider and 2) too "saddleseaty" because I try to be too perfect, instead of actually effectively riding my horse. In any case, I earned a 78% from the judges and honestly anyone who got a ribbon in that class should be pretty damn proud.

That class was miserable, lady. You better insert treats.

Saturday

Saturday morning was my much-anticipated freestyle! Many thanks to my coach who talked me into putting one together almost last minute. We literally choreographed it in one lesson, and my other barn friend whipped the music together for me. I showed it twice at Indiana to qualify, and Regionals was  the 3rd time I have ridden through it. 

But of course Hampton was perfect and absolutely smoked the test. I made a mistake in our circle of twos by overbending him, but recovered quickly. Between the two judges we scored a 65% and some change, which landed us in 4th place (we missed 3rd by .3) in tough company. Could not have been happier with Hampton. In fact I had a mojito right after our test. It was 10 a.m. That is how you horse show.

Had a few more drinks that day too, hahaha.
It was well earned.

Sunday

Sunday morning was our AA I-1 test and HAMPTON was mistake free, but I had an error of course when I started to do the 3s when it should have been the extended canter. Argh. I don't go off course very often but it happens to all of us and I blame it on the exhaustion. I did recover quickly though and finished off a very nice test. It is Regionals though, and the judging is TOUGH, as it should be. We finished with a 60% and some change. That kept us just out of the ribbons in 9th place. Region 2 is one of the most competitive regions so I will take it.

I-1 test done and dusted

As wonderful as Hampton is, he is a 6 right out of the box especially at a show of this caliber. That is something I have accepted long ago and gave Porkchop all the love and pats for a job well done. We were just outclassed and that is ok! To show in that big arena was so special. I cannot wait for the photos!

It seems like this year Hampton has really come into his own. He he is reliable now, and while not the easiest to ride at FEI, I don't struggle and pray for my life like I used to. lol. He is just the best boy. Well behaved, safe, fun and can take a joke.

Now it's time for a small let down. I don't think I was able to punch a ticket to Nationals, so our next adventure will likely be a trip to Aiken.