The 6 types of people that shop for horses

I may have mentioned on here that I was somewhat involved with a non-profit adoption agency that rehomes OTTBs. Because of that, I often dealt with people who are horse shopping. I also used to work as a young horse trainer who was responsible for showing horses to prospective buyers.

I've come up with a list of different types of people I most frequently ran into. Selling horses is not for the faint of heart. Horse people can be cray-cray, even when you get into the higher price ranges.

The educated, classy professional

The ECP arrives to the appointment on time. They have given you a specific horse or horses they want to look at. They watch the horse, don't talk a whole lot and perhaps then hop on for a ride. If the horse does not interest them, they politely let you know. They come dressed to ride and are dressed in a tidy manner. They may ask some questions, but most of their focus is watching the actual horse. I love ECPs. They are honest, to the point and don't waste time.

The arrogant "professional"

These shoppers are frequently late - maybe even two hours late to an appointment and they expect you to wait around for them. Some may be irritated if you have to reschedule. They arrive and check out the horse they requested to see. These people will often start making all sorts of comments to you about the horse. "Oh, he has really crooked legs." "Hmmmm, why is his ankle swollen?" "Wow, he has a really sore back." ...

Or one of my personal favorites:

Pro: "Oh my god, his mane is awful. They must have cut it with scissors! How lazy!"

Me: "Yeah, actually I did that. Yes, I was lazy and cut it."

Pro: "Oh, I didn't mean to be rude."

... Yes you did!

Or, during a pre purchase exam:

Pro: "Well, I guess if he turns up lame I will just bring him back to you guys!"

These "professionals" often overestimate their riding ability. Maybe almost get bucked off, or cannot stop the horse. (yes some of the OTTBs are not so well trained but as a "professional" you should have other tools). They make a lot of commentary - to which I do not respond. I'm just hear to help and to show you the horse. I can't fix his sore back right this second, he's 2 weeks off the track. These types will sometimes insult you in a backhanded way. They think they are superior to just about everyone.

(while watching a horse canter)

Pro to me: "Now, he's on the wrong lead." "Do you understand leads?"

Me: "Yes, I do." *stares blankly trying not to lose my shit*

(same idiot)

Pro: "I'm going to ponder this decision concerning this horse. Do you know what ponder means?"

Me: "Yes. It means to think about." (said with snark)

I mean don't come in here and insult the seller or VOLUNTEERS thank you.

The educated, classy amateur

I love ECAs. They are my favorite shopper. They are looking for a horse who will be a friend, maybe a competition partner. Maybe even a re sell project. They typically come with an open mind, and they have done their research. They are friendly, and ask a lot of great questions. They watch the horse go, and then take a spin themselves. They are careful with the horse, but know what sort of buttons to push to see if the horse is what they will get along with. They have a sense of humor and are pleasant to deal with. I have actually made several friends from showing horses to ECAs.

The laid back, just-want-a-nice-horse person

These are the shoppers who are looking for a family, trail, pleasure, 4-H type horse. They aren't looking to turn the horse into some high performance show animal. They want a good mind, but typically fall for horses of pretty colors and nice tails. No, I am not joking. The horse could have crippled knees but dang he has a nice tail. Sold! They can range from beginners to those with riding experience but just want to take it easy. Nothing wrong with that, and often these people make great homes. Sometimes the horse hoarders fall into this category, however. Or those who return a horse for whatever reason (divorce, finances) and then 6 months later want another one. Sometimes entire families show up to the appointment. Sometimes this is good, sometimes it isn't. Like when you let your 4 year old run into the arena while your 15 year old is riding an OTTB. This type of shopper very often overestimates their riding ability by quite a bit. Sometimes they have a trainer who falls into the Arrogant "Pro" category. But there are some truly nice people that also fall into this category that have ended up being great adopters.

The Mountain People

Now we start getting into the truly crazy people. Mountain People is a term I use for adopters who show up and I immediately think they have come from the back woods of West Virginia (no offense to any WVa readers ...). The men have a wad of dip in their lower lip. The women are decked out in camo and no one speaks proper English. A couple of times I thought Duck Dynasty was doing an episode at the farm. They always complain about the English saddles and they make me extremely nervous when they want to get on a horse. It's frequently a team effort to make that happen. Truly, many of these horses deserve a gold medal for tolerating what they do. 

Comments from Mountain People may include such quotes (these are real quotes) as:

Teen: "Ma, remember that time you called the cops on me?"

Mother Mountain Person: "I can call the cops whenever I want!"

Mountain woman's apparent lover once aboard an OTTB (and trust me it was not easy getting him aboard this horse. He was a big guy, and did not know how to properly mount a horse):

 "Oh I like 'em. I can shoot my gun off dis one!"

Me to Mountain guy: "You have to wear a helmet, it's our policy"

Mountain guy: "That's dumb"

Mountain teen: "I'm lookin for a jumpin horse."

... upon getting on one OTTB, she proceeded to walk around the roundpen white-knuckling the English saddle and trying to neck rein. Not sure she is going to make it over a fence anytime soon. ....

These people seem to randomly fall in love with certain horses. It may be the one with the best tail. It may be the one who most looks like a QH. It may be the one with the most unique color.

 It's NEVER the actual nicest horse we have. 

What these people do at home

The BATSHIT FUCKING CRAZY

Signs someone may fall into this category:
(these are all real and happened to me)

- Taking a hand and putting it in the horses's ear, while yelling "BUZZZZZZZZZZZ" .... to see if the horse will "tolerate clippers."

- Bragging to me about how you've won the Saddlebred world's five gaited championship. "Have you ever met someone who has won that title?" He says to me. 

"Yes," I said. "I used to work for a trainer who has."

Silence.

 ... I knew this guy never won that title. I grew up in that industry. He was a total flat out liar. He also said he won all sorts of things at Congress, Walker shows and Devon. No, no and no.

- Adopting a horse, then putting a stop payment on the check an hour after you get him home.

- Claiming we are frauds and calling the organizations founder and volunteers such names as dumbass, motherf------, bitch, etc. Yelling and screaming at people who are trying to help you and make things right.

- Sitting in the truck in silence while your "man" yells at volunteers (see above). Like a good little wife!

- Backing a volunteer against a wall, pointing your finger directly into his face and proceeded to name call, threaten and otherwise abuse this volunteer who was trying to help you.

- Refusing to leave the property (after you returned the horse), because you want a check that you had already put a stop payment on. Meanwhile snaking around the property in other barns you have no business in.

- Publicly trashing an organization on Facebook. 

The Farrier Incident

About 5 weeks ago, Hampton's farrier told me he was going to spend the winter in Florida.

But, he had a name of a guy he highly recommends to take care of Hampton over the winter. First, I will say that Hampton's farrier is probably one of the best I have ever been around. He works for one of the best farriers in the midwest, if not the country. He is an all around nice guy, is patient with Hampton, is funny and extremely hot good looking. Basically everything one wants in a farrier. ;)

So, when he recommended this other guy to shoe Hampton over the winter I of course took his advice without question.

So this new guy comes out (about 4 weeks ago) to reset the creature.

At first things are going great, but I warn him that when he gets to the hot-shoeing part, he will need to be patient at the smoke scares Hampton and he will want to hop backwards a bit. He usually gets over it fairly quickly but does require some patience at first. So we proceed.

And Hampton does exactly what I said he was going to do - he hops around a bit when in reaction to the smoke. To be fair, Hampton has never been hot-shoed until this summer. This was maybe the 3rd or 4th time he has experienced this.

After a few hops around, New Farrier says, "Put a lip chain on him."

I immediately got a bad feeling in my stomach.

So I try to put a lip chain on Hampton. I pretty much fail miserably because 1) Hampton is too damn tall and 2) He is now getting very upset as to to why I am trying to cram a chain up his lip. It is really rare that I have to put a chain on this horse's nose, much less a lip chain. Which he has never experienced.

So farrier says in the most condescending manner: "Have you ever put a lip chain on before?"

... Now I am annoyed AND offended. I tell him YES I know how to put lip chains on but have never needed to on this horse. He is too big to manhandle.

"Well, this is what we do on the track," he says. So I tell him to give it a try and HE CANNOT GET THE CHAIN ON EITHER. I am aware that track horses wear lip chains all the time. They are used to it, and it works for them. But Hampton is not used to be handled in such a manner. It just scared him and pissed him off.

He finally succeeds after 5 minutes. Hampton's gums are bleeding now of course and he is visably upset. Great.

So Hampton stands a little better now, but after maybe 10 minutes I notice that he is started to tremble in the flanks. Another 5 minutes and he is now shaking like a leaf. He looked like a horse having a full blown HYPP attack. Now, I was getting scared. Was he tying up? Was he going to collapse? Was he going into shock?

The farrier seemed unconcerned at the shaking and kept on shoeing. He was almost done at this point, so as soon as he was done hot shoeing I took the lip chain off and Hampton stopped shaking very quickly after that. Endorphins? I don't know.

After he proceeded to charge me an arm and a leg, I turned Hampton back out in hopes he would move around. He galloped out to his friends and seemed totally fine. I watched him for 10 more minutes to be sure.

To be honest, the farrier does quality work. But I won't be using him again. In fact the experience was so traumatic that I am going to have to drug Hampton next time (new farrier), just for his sake.

I feel horrible for not standing up for him more. He is certainly not above getting into trouble. He isn't allowed to act like a jerk, but when the horse is truly scared, it does no good to get rough with them. I don't want any farrier to get hurt, I get it. But I think this went too far.

How can you put a lip chain on this kind face? geez

I know it's not the farrier's job to train my horse to stand to be shod. But it is only the hot-shoeing portion that bothers Hampton. And I'm not sure how I can replicate that in daily life to teach him it's ok?

*sigh*

I guess a lesson learned?

Prep School Hippie

It has not even been a month since we moved to the new barn, and already it feels like home. Both horse and I have easily slipped into the routine and there was pretty much no adjustment period.

The fellow boarders are all class acts. Just a lovely bunch of gals. Hampton gets more turn out time and he seems happy about that. Other than a very mild case of cellulitis (nothing compared to the scary episode this summer) last week, he's been in good shape and the time off did him some good.

So while the commute is longer, the stress has been reduced. I'll take it.

My very first riding instructor used to yell at me: "Karen - what color is your horse?!" and I would say "Bay!"
and she would say "YES, now you can stop looking at him!"
... I was 7 and didn't really get the joke until years later.
And I still have that bad habit.

We've picked back up a regular lesson schedule as well, much to my relief. I love working on my own, and doing my homework, but if I go too long without lessons I tend to get stuck in my own little world and stop pushing the envelope.

My current instructor is a keeper. She is a friend, but during a lesson we can check that friendship at the gate. She pushes me to be excellent and pushes me to try things that I would normally think was way beyond my skill level. Hampton goes great in lessons and we come away with homework to keep us busy for a while. haha.

We tried the canter zig zag from the PSG this weekend. It was pretty horrible. But that's ok because you have to start somewhere! Because it was horrible, I was able to find a few holes in the training. I'm working on addressing those issues (horse must react to the aids right now or he will hear about it!!) and I bet next time I try it will at least be improved. Maybe even somewhat resemble the actual movement. I have mad, mad respect for people who make FEI tests look so easy and flowing.

Sprinkled in between our hot mess clusterf*ck not-so-elegant moments are other moments of awesome sauce. Hampton is still developing strength, but he is turning into a dressage horse I think!

Stolen change. At least it was clean and beautiful!

Our flying changes are starting to get pretty reliable. Yes he still anticipates sometimes, but now I have the tools to help prevent that and to ride through those moments. There is rarely any bucking anymore and the collection is really improving.

Interesting that while he is anticipating here at least it doesn't look like this:

His trot is still pretty mediocre so my focus has been to direct that energy up instead of forward to try and get some cadence. Hampton has a really good idea of the passage now (I need to get video of that because he is pretty cool). So I somehow need to channel the passage into a hybrid show trot to help improve our scores in the arena.

We are aiming for a few little schooling shows over the winter (weather permitting, duh) so I can work on keeping him rideable in the arena. We'll stay at Third Level. There has been talk of doing Fourth and PSG next year. I love having a teacher who believes in us that much, so we'll see. Never say never.

Also, Florida was great. It was hot and sunny and we rarely sat still. Visited an alligator farm which was the bombdiggity because I love alligators. I think it comes from my love for Godzilla. Yes, yes I am a Godzilla fan.

Paddleboarding was also so fun. Infact we may purchase a paddleboard for next summer and venture into the big bad Ohio river.

I mean, you'd have to dodge barge traffic, and drunks with their cabin cruisers but ... could be fun?

We saw a school of dolphins while out paddleboarding, too! Neat!

Out of the sandbox: Keenland

(I'm in Florida so here's a pre-written post!)

I have lived in Kentucky now for almost 3 years and this was my first time at Keenland. Shame!

But that said, Keenland is as amazing as everyone says it is. Churchill Downs is ... ok. It has always seemed like this glorious, fun place when I watched the Derby in the past. And then I went on just a regular weekend and my opinion of Churchill changed. It is in a terrible neighborhood (a few miles from where I work, and where I carry mace on me at all times). It's a little bit dirty. It's a place to gamble and that is obvious.

But Keenland. Keenland is grand, it has a rich, expensive feel to it. It's clean and very well kept. You could almost eat off the floor in the bathrooms. I did not feel the need to carry mace in my hand there at all. hahaha. Yes, it's also a place to gamble but the atmosphere there is different. Yes you have some skeezeballs walking around, but most of the people are there for 1) the fashion show and 2) to enjoy a nice day and drink. And look important.

 I did go down for the end of the September Yearling Sales. This was a first for me and a real educational experience. Last week I went for an actual race day.

The yearlings are first walked around in one of the holding areas. Potential buyers can look at individual horses, even go up and run a hand over them. Buyers will almost always have the sales book on them - in which lists each horse by hip number (most of them did not have registered names yet but were simply listed as "chestnut filly" or "bay colt."). The book also listed a variety of things about the horse such as their breeding and how much money their sire, dam, grandsire, etc won.

Each yearling also had Xrays on file if you wanted to see them. There were vets everywhere with an iPad handy to pull up the rads, or you could speak to a vet of your choosing to go over the health records and rads if you wanted to.

One of the holding areas

Interestingly enough, VERY few of these yearlings had clean Xrays/records. Many of them had OCD, ridges, saw several with club feet, cribbers and numerous other issues. I am not sure if this was consistent throughout the sale, or if it was just because these yearlings on the last day were slim pickin's.

The size and body type varied so much I was really surprised. There were some yearlings that looked like big strapping 2-year-olds. A few looked like race-fit Quarter Horses. Some were still weedy and awkward and looked like what I would expect a yearling to look like. But clearly, these things were getting walked, muscled up and fed small children perhaps to look like they do. Yikes.

As each horse goes into the auction ring, you could either go into the ring and bid - or there was a small area just outside the door in which you could bid as well. I was careful to keep my eyes and head down when I wondered over here for fear of accidentally bidding. Although there was a chestnut colt I would not have minded bidding on.

Inside the sales pavillion. These seats are normally reserved but we sat down
without a problem since it was the last day.

Last year, this September sale sold $280,491,300 worth of horses to tell you what kind of money goes through this place. I went on the last day this year, and the yearlings on the auction block were on the "cheap" side. The million dollar babies were the week before. But still, I saw a couple of youngsters sell for more than $30,000 - not cheap in my book. And there were those that sold for $2000 or so. I believe there were more than 4,000 yearlings listed.

Keenland hosts an all-ages sale in January, a 2-year-old sale in April and a breeding stock sale in November. However, I don't think those sales bring in nearly the amount of moo-lah as the Yearling sale. There is so many hopes and dreams - and gambling - as people select what they think could be their next big champion.

When I returned for a day at the races, I was not disappointed. It was full of life and some awesome people watching. There were quite a few skanks young ladies who were bound and determined to wear their skirts on this 60 degree, windy day. They had to have been cold. I always laugh at people who suffer in the name of fashion. To each their own. We watched a few races, but didn't bet on anything. I am terrible at picking the winners. I typically gravitate toward the big boned, pretty sport horse types. They don't always win. :)

Possible yearling sales graduate?

I mean, can we talk about this?

Crowd on race day

The saddled the horses in the paddock area as they were walked around.

If you ever get the chance to visit Keenland, do so. You won't regret it.

Plus, there is no shortage of booze.

Dressage shows gone wild

We're back safe and sound from what was a rather wild last show of the 2014 season (unless we sneak in a little schooling show or two in November.)

My friend L came down and picked me and the beast up on Friday. We decided that we would attempt a different route back to Indiana in order to avoid the hellhole that is I65 and pretty much any interstate in the Louisville area. They are building 2 new bridges here and the interstate system is being totally revamped. It is annoying and awful. It better be nice when they are finished.

Can you believe that is INDIANA?!?

Anyway, our new route ended up being ... not so smart. It took us through Madison, Indiana. Which, while beautiful, ended up taking us through curvy roads, up and now large hills, many stoplights. Basically what would have been about an hour and a half drive turned into 2 and half hours. We barely had any daylight when we arrived at the show grounds. But we tacked up anyway, determined to get in a quick school.

Then it started raining. And getting cold. And BLASTING ice cold rain. And then to top it off it proceeded to get quite windy.

So, pretty much the worse environment possible to school your horse in.

There were a couple of tents set up that were whipping around in the wind. The dressage letters in the rings were blowing over. Horses were violently spooking (there were a few other people stupid enough to school during this time like we were). My friend's horse was a little spooky, so I ponied her off Hampton into the ring. I was sort of expecting a wild ride.

But no. Hampton was SOLID. Not one spook. He was so obedient I was shocked. At times he wanted to turn his butt into the wind, but he was not being naughty. I couldn't really blame him for that. We had a slow school with a lot of jogging, easy shoulder-in and leg yields. I kept it rhythmical and slow and when the rain really started to soak me, I called it a day. I think the horse was happy I finally gave up. I could not believe how solid he was! What a veteran! Very proud of his behavior in that environment.

Saturday morning was an early one. Thankfully I had braided the night before (I figured his mane was already wet, might as well put braids in). Our first ride was Third-1. Hampton warmed up like a champ! I think I am finally getting a good warm up routine figured out. My parents also came to watch and I was glad they were finally able to see Hampton look good, and not be snarky and try to launch me. ha. Our test was decent. We did have one little snarky kick out at my leg during one change. I think I surprised him with my spur. But other than that, I was happy with the test. We earned a 63% and some change from a tough judge.

My mom took this picture of us just chillin in the warm up ring.

Our second test was Third-2. Our warm up was good again but I could tell he was running out of gas a bit. I think the sudden drop in temps made him a little gassy (he had extra "sound effects" going on). The test was not our best, but not our worst. I did go off course (I forgot the damn circle where you give your reins at the canter), and we totally biffed one flying change and trotted, but I think I just warmed up up too long and wore him out. He got super buried in the poll as well and I just could not bring his nose out for the life of me. But he was not naughty or snarky and the final 2 flying changes we NAILED. We got a 61% and some change with some major bobbles. So I was happy with that. One of these days it will all come together! haha!

We really held out own against the other horses and riders and I was so pleased with Hampton's behavior and how hard he tried. I totally think we can start scoring more consistently in the mid to high 60s next year with another winter of work. Despite the cold temps and wind, the show was a blast. Our scores were good enough for 2 second place ribbons! I did not get many photos since my friend who usually takes photos for me was also riding at the same time.

My dear friend L and her horse, Lucky, also had a great show.

It's now time for vacation for both me and the horse. I am going to Florida for 5 days and Hampton will hang out and be a horse. He more than deserves it.

After that it's time to get back into a more structured lesson program.

For for now, the beach!

Stir it up

The Hamper and I have moved to a new barn.

This was not a spontaneous decision, as I did give more than 30 days notice to our previous barn and did leave on excellent terms with the barn manager.

I thought about the move and did not take the decision lightly. Our previous barn was gorgeous, convenient and the barn manager was nothing but wonderful and kind to me. She will always be a friend and I will always be thankful for her kindness. It was wonderful to leave on good terms and I wish it was always that way.

Hampton immediately settled in well. He has a huge, airy stall
where he can see everything going on.

It was mostly a collection of little things that ultimately swayed me into moving. The biggest influence was that the new barn has an indoor. It isn't huge, but it's something. And if we have another winter like last, then an indoor is going to be vital.

There will also be more eyes on my horse, and more individual attention. At the old place, the horses were often left alone from 430pm until 8 am the next day. (Yes, the actual owners live on the property but are not involved with the horses). As we all know, horses are quite capable of disaster in a very short period of time.

Moving also opens up a few new opportunities for me and Hampton. They have a couple of extremely knowledgable instructors/trainers that come weekly. It will be nice to be in a more consistent program again, as I cannot keep driving back to Indiana for lessons all the time. I am hoping to limit my Indiana trips to maybe 2 or 3 times a year. The drive is worth it but it's an expensive weekend and time consuming.

Boarding costs will be about the same, and while the new barn is farther away, it is actually only 5 minutes longer in the car since I can just hop on the interstate.

Cute little grooming bays

The new place has a lot of renovation going on (the previous owners let it go to hell), but it's coming along and the new owners are great people. The property also connects to a rather large trail system in the area. I CANNOT wait to explore that! From what I have seen there are well-groomed trails and I believe 25+ miles.  The new place also has an aqua treadmill that is also getting an update. That will be incredibly nice in helping Hampton's fitness!

The other boarders seem like a lovely, laid back group as well. Unfortunately, there was some negative energy at the previous place that also had a part in my move. 99% of the boarders I would call my friends and are awesome. But there are just certain types of people I refuse to be associated with in any manner. (And trust me, I have a high tolerance for all types of cray cray). It's great to escape that and not have to be stressed all the time when I am trying to ride.

So a fresh start for us with new opportunities.

Cheers.

Blog Hop: Other than riding

Now, That's the Spot started this blog hop.

What other activities, hobbies, or sports do you do outside of riding? 

Outside of riding, my hobbies also include:

um.

shit.

This for sure:

And sometimes I attend concerts. And by concerts I mean I follow Phish around. 

Yes, THE Phish.

... and that's about it.

Meaning, I spend way too much time and money on my horse.

Oh well!